Look at the opulence and grandeur of any cathedral and you can understand the success of the ritual of penance.
Buy forgiveness for your sins? More like buy the priest some new shoes and a bigger steeple. Am I right?
Beyond the cynicism, lies a reason why it works: for what is a sin but some action you regret, and what is penance but an attempt to atone for it—to make right what you did wrong? We all know God isn’t going to go back in time and reverse your mistake, but maybe, in a grand cosmic sense, this money or these prayers you just put forth will shift the balance the evil your sin caused with some good. Maybe it will make you worthy of forgiveness.
“But that’s not enough! My money won’t make a difference.” Then do something that will. If money or words won’t reverse the mistakes, then dedicate yourself to preventing the same mistakes from ever being made again. If it’s too late to do what you should have when you were younger, make sure others choose a different path. Even if it’s too big to fix, then a small change is better than none. You may not have forgiveness yet, but you can make room for it by getting rid of the hatred. While you can’t change what happened yesterday, you can set yourself up to feel good about tomorrow.
And if you should get offered penance by someone for wrongs they committed in the past? My answer would almost always be: accept. Regardless of whether it goes to you or some church-builder, the effect on the wrong-doer is similar. But the forgiveness that would lighten another’s conscience grows heavier on yours the longer you withhold it.
But who the hell am I to tell you what to do? Nobody, you’re right. The decision is yours. I’m certainly no authority, just somebody who’s made as many mistakes as the next guy, has helped make some right, and has many more he needs to fix.
We all have things we want to take back, and people whom we wish could forgive us. Don’t let refusals turn into more regret.