I used to be really proud of how long I could meditate. I'd tell anyone who would listen all about how it changed my life, slowed time and let me stop my own impulsive reactions, etc. But the truth was, after doing it for over a year I'd still get angry, or overreact, or feel depressed.
This time around, I realized that the most important thing about meditation is the mindfulness it helps one achieve.
And what really screws that up is cluttering your non-meditating moments with distractions.
A half-hour of meditating is useless if immediately after you're finished you start checking Facebook or Instagram, and then putting on a chattering podcast or song while you commute to work, then filling your non-working moments with Youtube videos, snacking, shopping and gossiping, then going home to Netflix before passing out with a phone in your hand and a whiskey by your bed.
Sooner or later, no amount of meditation is going to stave off the growing uneasiness that comes with unfulfilled obligations and impending crises left ignored.
So this year, I'm going to start meditating again. Just 5-10 minutes a day at first, but this time I'm going to consciously remove the distractions from the rest of my life. I'm going to spend more time with my own thoughts, as opposed to passively consuming the thoughts of others. I'm going to be more mindful.
We'll see how much farther that gets me.